Have you ever felt like you were “stuck” in a situation where you repeated the same behaviors that produced the same undesired results? If you knew why and how, would you change that condition? In a shout-out to one of my favorite bands and songs, The Eagles – “I Can’t Tell You Why”, their story goes: “Nothing’s wrong as far as I can see. We make it harder than it has to be. And I can’t tell you why, no baby, I can’t tell you why.”
Whether describing a relationship, a career, or task, surely we’ve all “been there”. Maybe the situation becomes even more “clouded”. That statement, “you/we are making this harder than it has to be” might be directed at another with the internal thought that it’s “their problem”. I want it to be easy; they’re making it hard. That could be accurate (reality), or it could be projection. If you want to know “why”, just be sure to check to see if you’re projecting your own thoughts or feelings onto another. It isn’t easy to tell because denial and projection are psychological defense mechanisms. An unconscious denial of our own actions or attitudes becomes easy to accept by just “giving them to somebody else”.
So how do you know if it’s real or projected? It’s tricky because the person doing the projecting almost never is aware of it. Recognizing and knowing the difference requires practice, and complete honesty with oneself to develop the necessary acute awareness. Begin by questioning your motives. If the answer isn’t clear, ask an honest friend for assistance, or seek the advice of a counselor. OK, let’s say we have the projection issue cleared up, but the problem persists. If you happen to be one who is really searching for the answer, but haunted by the elusiveness of the truth, there may be good news coming as you read on.
“Calling all men with communication challenges”—the problem might be you. If you’re amazed at how women can talk and talk and talk, this is where you give them some credit. We’re wired differently. If a woman has “a problem” she’ll talk about it; men resist. You can bet she’ll talk about it with other women. And they’ll find a solution—perhaps one you won’t like. Granted, that’s a generalization, but largely true. If we have a problem and don’t talk about it, just internalizing it, a valid conclusion and appropriate solution become nearly impossible. But what if, you’ve talked endlessly as a couple with no results?
Picture Timothy B. Schmit of the Eagles singing that song, and if “I can’t tell you why, no baby, I can’t tell you why” particularly resonates with you, there are professionals trained to help you find your answers. Therapists, Coaches, Clinical Hypnotherapists who have studied psychology and human behavior can ask the right questions that reveal patterns from the past. Our Creator never intended for our lives to be difficult. We do make them harder than they have to be. And while men may have a more difficult time communicating, neither sex can find compatible solutions if the “why” is a part of an unconscious program operating out of view. Therapists are trained differently and utilize different approaches.
Hypnotherapy can be the fastest way to discover what is blocking a true desire. If you’ve been trying to resolve something and good intentions haven’t been enough, just understand that it goes beyond logic. Habitual behaviors are driven by emotion not logic. Two perfectly well-intentioned parties can find themselves mired in inescapable argument and conflict, which is actually just a mismatch of, or unrecognized meeting of emotional needs. And past events in the subconscious, with beliefs linked to today’s issue can completely block resolution. Indeed, open-minded access to the subconscious can be the ONLY way to bring about desired change and results, because until you can realize and bring “what it is” into the realm of the present in the conscious mind, you’re stuck and can’t change. Your answers are within. A competent Clinical Hypnotherapist offers the “How” that provides a linking of events. Growth can occur when you CAN “tell her why”. I encourage you to take action as soon as possible, so you’re not “up all night tearing your love apart”. I’m sure Timothy B, Henley, and Frye would agree; they wrote the song. HYPNOSIS: Help Yourself Positively Now Or Suffer In Silence. Life lived well is a choice. Be well.