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Dear One, you made a small mistake, a mistake that could be responded to with a simple sincere, “I’m sorry. What can I do to help?” All would have been forgiven and the incident forgotten. But in your shame you tried to blame another when the evidence clearly pointed to you. You denied your part and you lied to cover up your responsibility in making the mistake. Then when your friend called you on it you became angry and defensive, even blaming your friend. Know this: There is no shame in making mistakes. Our mistakes are for learning. If we feel shame it’s because we believe it’s not alright to make mistakes. You are not your mistakes. What you did in your need to appear blameless is create more shame on yourself and for your friend to disrespect you. That was yet another mistake. Now your friend knows you will not tell the truth about little and perhaps big things. You have betrayed his trust and he will continue to feel disrespect for you. What a loss. Know this, too: You don’t need to be perfect. As humans none of us are perfect. So why pretend? Simply acknowledge your mistakes and do whatever is needed to correct them. No shame. It’s OK to make mistakes. What’s not OK is to compound them by allowing your shame to manipulate you and others.

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