Healing the betrayal of unfaithfulness requires some strong medicine. First you must do your psychological work. Seriously consider going into counseling to examine and transform the self defeating and negative core beliefs that drove you to the infidelity. Once considered, do it. You will discover some liberating things about yourself. Not only does this begin the healing process from the affair(s) but you may be surprised that you will benefit in many other ways from your counseling effort. At the same time you are exploring and healing your psychological nature, delve into healing through connecting with your spiritual nature. No healing is complete without this connection. This connection with your inner spiritual center (God center, Christ center, the Great Loving Wise One within you) gives you the love, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness (for yourself and others) necessary to transform yourself and your relationship into being trustworthy. Whether you are already a part of a religion or not seek this connection. Often a spiritually oriented workshop can be of great help in making this connection. One’s life must always be guided by and through this spiritual connection. It is your compass and will guide you to do the right thing in life. I also recommend that your partner do the same psychological and spiritual work. It will help bring clarity, trust, and forgiveness to the relationship, It will bring you closer or end the relationship if it should be ended.