Sometimes infidelity can be a way of communicating, “I want our relationship to be over.” Is this perhaps true for you? Do you want to end your relationship but are afraid to admit it to yourself or to your partner? Do you tend to be indirect about your communications? Are you looking for a way for your relationship to end without having to be the bad guy and the one to say, “It’s over”? Are you emotionally split about whether you want your relationship to end or not? If you answer “yes” to any of there questions it may be that you want to end the relationship and are now or have used an affair as a way to communicate that. Certainly having an affair can be a way to end a relationship. However, there are some much better ways to achieve your goal of ending things. The down sides of using an affair to end things are obvious: undermining trust, carrying guilt, hurting another, hurting yourself as a result, creating opportunity for an ugly divorce and upsetting conversations or rages, alienating friends and family, losing respect, to name a few. Perhaps it’s better to do some real soul searching and get some counseling if you suspect that you want out of your relationship. Face things directly so you can communicate more directly. You may discover there are many side benefits to being direct instead of having an affair.