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Hypnotically Healing with Words How to structure verbal communication for desired results R.D. Cooper

You won’t need a course in NLP neuro-linguistic-programming to understand and apply what follows.  This is just a brief introduction on how to structure your words, so that you’re more apt to derive desired results. You may desire to hypnotize yourself, to achieve a higher degree of awareness.  It’s often not easy to alter patterns that have been imbedded generationally, and even within the simplest of examples, you’ll undoubtedly find yourself slipping into old patterns. With practice you’ll begin to see opportunities everywhere to teach little mini-lessons. And people will be thankful.

Awareness and Responsibility are the key words for you the reader.  Please be aware, of the tremendous responsibility that we have when talking with children.  It has been accepted for decades that during a child’s formative years up to about eight, that they simply accept what they are told, without the capacity to apply filters of reason.  This input from parents or authority figures become core beliefs that remain with a person, defining the nature of reality, or how they view themselves and others. Buried deep within the confines of the subconscious mind, these beliefs often continue to run our internal dialogue with the various aspects of ourselves, or define our external interactions. Let’s assume for the moment, that all of your child-self attitudes are properly integrated in the adult self, and that you’re perfect.  That is impossible, but many would argue the point. How large is your ego?

Regarding your communication with others, let’s use this example where I tell you the following:

“Whatever you do, don’t think of a purple rabbit. And especially don’t think of a purple rabbit wearing a huge pair of orange sunglasses. And definitely do not think of a purple rabbit wearing orange sunglasses riding a red bike.” Words form images. The images power us and affect our behavior. Did you notice that “don’t”, became a “non-word”. It’s like it wasn’t even in the sentence. Remember that.

If you can, always instruct, make requests, or teach based on desired outcome what you DO want to happen; never what you don’t want to happen. “Don’t spill you milk!” What mind-image did you see?  Notice how “don’t” just seems to somehow evaporate from the equation?  “Be careful; hold your glass firmly” will work better because that’s the action you actually desire (so they won’t spill their milk).

I remember the first time I read about an example such as above. It was several decades ago, in a course titled The Psychology Of Winning, with a quote from a major league pitcher, who in a World Series game 7, was approached on the mound by his pitching coach, who instructed, “Whatever you do, don’t throw him a low fastball.”  Facing the batter, the dominant image that remained was “low fastball” and, too late, that’s exactly what was rocked out of the park for the game-winning home run. Later the pitcher asked, “Why would ANYONE, ever try to coach by talking about the opposite of what they wanted?”  Indeed.

BONUS: This one works absolutely wonderfully with my 2-year old grand-daughter, so remember it, and try it out the next time you see the opportunity. We know that occasionally, “the terrible twos” bring a little tantrum where seemingly for no reason a child can move from content to inconsolable in an instant.  With tears flowing and the child “screaming bloody murder”, what do you do? I’m sure you know that plenty of folks say something like, “If you don’t quit crying, I’m going to give you something to cry about.” Oh sure! How did that work for you? Or, “If you don’t quit crying, followed by whatever is going to be withheld from them” or any number of guilt-trip equations, usually none of which work. If that tactic did work, and you had an option that didn’t include “fear” or threat of bodily harm, wouldn’t that be a better option?

So try this: (but be aware, you have to be sincere, and adopt your own attitude that you would like to see in the child) With a big smile on your face, and some laughter seeping out, say “Whatever you do, don’t laugh!” “Did you hear me (smiles, laughter) I said, whatever you do, don’t you laugh!” Sometimes I have to add some rapid-fire, “Don’t you laugh; don’t you laugh; don’t you laugh, “No” … “No” … no laughing!” Have fun. I can confidently tell you, that within 30-seconds that child will go from uncontrollable crying to crying from laughter. The words “don’t” evaporate, and they only picture laughing, aided by your modeling the behavior. It is impossible to be upset if you’re laughing. (Remember, I said it was a situation where the child seemingly had no good reason to be crying) Simple words – properly presented – behavior modification – complete change in physiology almost instantaneously. If you have a little one, you’ll probably feel like you should send me a check. That would make me smile.

Hypnotherapy is mind-work.  It’s about helping an individual re-program not only their inner-child, but that little voice in your mind that you hear every minute of every day.  It’s learning how to talk to yourself, and being fulfilled by the outcome of the conversation.  Therapists can help with a mind tune-up, and also teach the art of self-hypnosis.  I know from experience.

Smile, and the world smiles with you.

Wendy Hill, M.A., is a clinical hypnotherapist who possesses that rare combination of exceptional education and experience, blended with a calming intuitive nature that immediately puts a client at ease.  Her skills have been honed over decades with the help of thousands of experiences. Call Wendy at 760-994-9296.

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