This is the first in s series of articles on mistakes women make in love from a therapist point of view in San Diego and Encintias.
Mistake Number One: “My love will change him.”
Everyone is flawed. That’s the human condition. Once you accept that everyone is flawed including yourself then accepting others and yourself becomes much easier. Love changes people. In fact, it transforms people. So why say that it’s a mistake to think that your love will change the flaws of your man? Well, eager reader, here is the answer. The love that will change your man is the love he feels for himself. If he is unwilling to look at and heal his own life-wounds that helped create his flaws then he will be blinded to any love coming his way. He will automatically delete it because it won’t match his own inner belief and vision of himself. Your love can hit a brick wall. “But,” you say, “If I love him strong enough and long enough then my love will penetrate and he will automatically change for the better.” If his inner core beliefs about himself are not brought into his own consciousness then time is not going to make a difference. Self-defeating core beliefs taken on especially in childhood will last a lifetime unless they are brought into consciousness and dealt with.
Some women stay in abusive relationships for years holding on to the false belief that their love will make all the difference. Some women stay in relationships were they are emotionally abandoned or whose men are unfaithful, or who physically hurt them or who have debilitating addictions or who cannot emotionally or spiritually connect. If this is happening to you please consider looking at your own self. You may find that you can free yourself from an unhealthy relationship just by seeing the truth of things.
To learn more about relationships and love go to www.wendyhill.com and read or watch videos or listen to some of her original music.Willie and Wendy Hill, M.A.