Mistake number two: “But I love him!”
In huge mistake number one the mistake is thinking that your love will change him for the better. In huge mistake number two it’s thinking that because you are in love with him that is the best reason for staying in the relationship even if it’s a bad relationship. Some years ago Tina Turner sang her hit song, “What’s Love Got To Do With It.” Basically love, which is usually co-dependence, is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship. The relationship has to be healthy. That means that there has to be healthy boundaries, healthy respect, and healthy self-esteem in both people. All this must add up to a relationship that supports peace of mind, creativity, spiritual connection with the self, and responsible behavior. If the relationship is filled with drama, arguments, dishonesty, hidden agenda manipulations, emotional abandonment, addiction, or abuse then loving him will not make you happy and it won’t make the relationship right for you.
Sweetheart, learn to love yourself first. The right relationship will follow. That’s a promise. Learning to love yourself has to do with loving the vulnerable child within yourself. That takes some work and usually a professional that knows how to help you do that. But it can be done and once done you will find that right man for you and it will be great.
To learn more about love and relationship go to www.wendyhill.com. Wendy Hill, MA, (PhD 2013) has been in practice for 38 years. She is compassionate and make a safe place for you to grow.