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Affair Advice with Married Man or Woman San Diego and Encinitas Therapist – Three Tips on Understanding and What to Do Now

Need affair advice from a San Diego and Encinitas therapist? Are you having an affair with a married man or woman? Are you married or in a committed relationship? Do you suspect or know your significant other is having an affair? Or are you not in a committed relationship but questioning why you are having an affair? Any way it is important that you understand the reasons for affairs before you take action. Here are three tips to help you understand yourself and/or your significant other and what action you might consider taking.

Tip One:  Affairs can be a mirror image of your core beliefs about love and survival. Affairs are seldom what they seem to be about. Most often affairs are an expression of a deeper need or belief about yourself. Having an affair can be a reflection of a subconscious core belief you carry about love and relationships. A core belief is a deeply held conviction about something that is usually taken on during childhood or even during infancy. For example, a child who may feel he or she is not worthy of love may begin a pattern of shallow relationships to keep emotionally safe from being rejected. That pattern of shallow relationships can persist into adult experience. An affair may simply be an extension of that pattern. This underlying reason can be completely unconscious. This is just an example. We humans are complex. There may be many hidden reasons for having an affair that stem from a subconscious core belief.  If you think you could be a victim of your own childhood-to-adulthood core beliefs, it would be helpful to seek counseling or in particular hypnotherapy to uncover and understand your hidden core beliefs.

Tip Two:  Affairs can be about a life transition.  There are two kinds of life transitions, those that are a result of conditions that are thrust upon you and those that are chosen by you. As we mature we pass through many life transitions. For example, aging is a condition over which you have no control. It is thrust upon you. Your thoughts about aging can cause you to feel anxious. Having an affair may be an attempt to quell some of the anxiety. The loss of a loved one can also trigger strong subconscious needs that you may attempt to fulfill by having an affair. Sometimes you may consciously choose to make a life change. For example you may choose to change your job or career direction, or move to another location.

Life transitions can be and usually are stressful. Having an affair can be a way to attempt to comfort yourself or to feel that you are not alone. It is better to face your feelings so you can accept life as it is rather than run from it. Running from your feelings only complicates life, often hurts others, and never really resolves anything.

Tip Three: An affair can be a call for help, a desperate way to communicate. Sometimes relationships are under stress. Unless you and your significant other have learned how to communicate your needs openly and honestly and negotiate effectively, you are at risk for real relationship trouble. For example, financial problems can cause significant stress in a relationship. If the couple does not know how to problem solve and support each other then one may choose the option of having an affair to comfort him or herself. Perhaps you are going through some emotional conflict that makes you feel vulnerable or out of control. Perhaps you do not know how to resolve it nor trust your partner to help you. Having an affair can be a subconscious cry for help. These are the times when it would benefit you to get some outside professional help. Perhaps seek a counselor or hypnotherapist to help you understand the emotions and subconscious core beliefs that are motivating your behaviors.

Look for the underlying reasons in yourself or your significant other for having an affair. You may find that you are surprised at what you find. Even better you may find a way to improve your life and your happiness as an individual and as a couple.

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