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San Diego and Encinitas Marriage Counseling Advice – Three Vital Acts for a Happy Marriage – Act One Setting Boundaries

Are you looking for marriage counseling advice in San Diego and Encinitas? There are three vital things you can do to help guarantee a happy marriage. Even though this advice is free, it is nonetheless powerful and true. Following this advice is not necessarily easy, but when you do follow it, your life will improve immeasurably. Here the three vital acts: Set healthy boundaries. Communicate what you want. Give with genuine loving intention.  Do these three things and you can have a happy relationship and a happy life.

Act One: Set healthy boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries is essential for happy relationships and for a happy life. Sit down with yourself and decide what you want from yourself and from a relationship. Then decide what you don’t want.

What positive things are important for you to be and for your partner to be? For example, you might have on your list loyalty, ability to communicate effectively, financial responsibility, etc. Once you have made your list make a commitment to having them as your healthy boundaries – what you expect from yourself and your partner. Decide that they are priorities in defining your relationship with yourself and with your partner. Then decide the consequences if the boundaries are crossed. For example, consequences may range from ending (or never beginning) a relationship to getting counseling to having a serious discussion. Be willing to implement your consequences. Standing behind your consequences is the only way your boundaries will have power and validity.

Now decide what things are deal breakers. Make a list of the things that you will never be willing to live with. For example, infidelity, dishonesty, refusal to communicate, alcoholism, drug abuse, physical or verbal abuse, sarcasm, etc. A deal breaker is something that is non-negotiable. In other words you refuse to have that quality or behavior in your life no matter how great the person is otherwise. Period. That is when it is time to take a stand and remove yourself from that relationship or refuse to take it another step if you are considering a commitment.

Everyone has his or her own standards. Make sure you are being realistic and flexible. At the same time go for the gold. Setting high expectations can be self-defeating if you are too rigid. On the other hand, high expectations can also help guarantee a high quality life and marriage.

Don’t settle for bad behavior. Don’t settle for being a victim. Insist that your relationships be mutually supportive. In reading this you may discover that you are already in a marriage with someone who has qualities and/or behaviors that are on your deal breaker list. Or you may discover that you, yourself, are not behaving as you should be. It then may be time to re-evaluate yourself and your marriage. Perhaps seeking marriage counseling or hypnotherapy to understand your core beliefs about love and relationships may be appropriate. Or perhaps it may be time to consult a divorce attorney.

Setting boundaries is a vital step in creating a quality marriage and a happy life. If you don’t have healthy boundaries you won’t have a clear idea of how to manage your relationships or your life. You won’t have a happy life. You certainly will not have a happy marriage. Some people are clueless as to how to be happy. Much of their lack of direction is due to the fact that they have never sat down with themselves and thought through what they want for themselves and of themselves. Set healthy boundaries and you are off to a great start for a happy life and a happy marriage. Look for Acts Two and Three: Communicate What You Want and Give With Loving Intention.

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