I often hear from my clients, “My husband/wife/partner won’t go to therapy. I think they really need it but they won’t go.” Here is the truth of the matter: in any relationship both people are responsible for the quality of that relationship. Even though it may seem so on the surface, there are no victims here.
One of you getting good therapy can change both of you. However, what happens all too often is that once one of you gets the help you need, you are no longer willing to put up with the dysfunction that your significant other continues to insist upon. You may decide to leave the relationship. This does not have to happen. If both of you are willing to take responsibility for what is happening between the two of you and are willing to seek professional help in transforming your attitudes and behaviors, the relationship has a really good chance of surviving, even thriving.