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Setting Appropriate Boundaries

Setting Appropriate Boundaries 1ORDER AND SYMMETRY helps us feel safe. That is why SETTING BOUNDARIES is so important in our lives. I grew up in an era when the emergence of humanistic psychology encouraged love and acceptance. Frequently misinterpreted this spawned attitudes that led to “open” marriages, the hippie movement, mean encounter groups, and other potentially dangerous to the psyche movements. This mistaken interpretation and the dropping of appropriate boundaries caused a lot of pain, even ill health to many baby boomers. So I mistakenly thought that having too many boundaries was like a prison that kept one from loving and being loved. Learning to recognize and set appropriate boundaries was a lesson I had to learn. It was often difficult and the lessons painful. Knowing who to invite into your life and to what degree and what to do, say, and allow in your life are major lessons in life. Our experiences and most often our mistakes tell us what boundaries to set and with whom. This learning process continues throughout our lives. People, things, circumstances are continually changing and this requires that we keep our minds open to reevaluating our boundaries and attitudes often. What might have been appropriate for us at twenty might be inappropriate at forty. And what circumstance might have been an unhealthy disaster for us at one time might be a spiritual event for us at another time. So setting boundaries can be somewhat fluid. Just remember to pay attention to your feelings and your intuition. Your mind, body, and spirit will help guide you along the way. Remember that you are a child of the universe and are loved beyond your own mind’s ability to perceive.

Wendy Hill, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist in Encinitas, California. Dr. Wendy will help you set healthy boundaries. Call her for an in-person or telephone session at 760-994-9296.


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