Here is a quick test to see if you were raised by a narcissistic mother. Warning: many people are protective of their parents and don’t want to be critical of them. It’s helpful to make a distinction between disliking what a parents does/did and disliking that parent. In fact, it’s possible to hate a behavior while loving the person. By the way, most people have some degree of narcissism in their behavior. We are in a very narcissistic culture and it’s everywhere, even perhaps in you. Narcissism is destructive and causes much unhappiness. It can be transformed and the pain of the past healed. So to start your journey of self discovery here is a quick test. Answer the questions with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and answer without too much thought. Come from your “gut.” Then judge for yourself.
1. When you were a child did you have the feeling your mother didn’t love you?
2. As a child did you feel your needs, thoughts, and feelings didn’t matter?
3. Was you mother more concerned about how things looked from the outside than how things really were?
4. Was your mother always right?
5. Were your achievements and/or failures as seen as a reflection on your mother?
6. Was your mother self-centered?
7. Did your mother act like a martyr or with anger if challenged?
8. Did your mother have a sense of entitlement?
If you answered “yes” to most of these questions chances are very good that your mother suffers/suffered from narcissism and that you have been injured by her behaviors and attitudes. To learn more about how to heal and transform the pain into happy, healthy adult experience consider some counseling with a professional. Wendy Hill, Ph.D. can help you. Check out her website at www.wendyhill.com or call her at 760-994-9296.