Narcissistic Mother: Hidden Narcissism Diane’s Story

Diane grew up afraid of her father. His loud voice, quick temper, and controlling negative demeanor were a constant threat. So much a threat that in fact she did not recognize until well into her adult years the emotional damage reaped by her mother. To Diane her mother was a victim of her father along with her siblings. In fact, Diane’s mother suffered from narcissism. Often her mother was cold, aloof, quick to criticize, blaming, and shaming. Other times her mother complimented Diane and depended on her to “look out” for her. Sometimes Diane’s mother would do what seemed to be an act of kindness. Once Diane had surgery and was in the hospital for the better part of a week. When her parent picked her up from the hospital to take her home her mother had packed lunches for themselves only even though they knew Diane would be unable to stand or walk. Compared to her father’s angry outbursts her mother’s punitive behavior was subtle. In reality Diane’ mother was jealous of Diane’s strength, beauty, and talents. Diane didn’t know this. Instead Diane felt that there was something wrong with her, something evil or essentially bad that made her parents so aloof and unloving. Sometimes narcissism is difficult to recognize when blaming one’ self or when the other parent is more overtly abusive.