Narcissistic Mother: Robbed Dreams Healed Carrie’s Story

Carrie came to see me for counseling several years ago when her depression was making her life unmanageable. She had dreams and desires of her own but every time she took a step toward realizing them she would automatically undermine herself. She began to think she was just a looser who had no talent. Upon taking her history in which I asked her questions about her parents when she was a child it became clear that Carrie was suffering from having had a narcissistic mother. Carrie’s life as a child was to cater to her ailing and critical mother. She was not allowed to have any interests of her own. Mother’s interests were of prime importance in the family. Not only did Carrie cater to Mother, but so did Father and Carrie’s siblings. Carrie grew up believing that her feelings, needs, and dreams were not allowed and that to express them would be a betrayal to her parents, her mother in particular. This belief was buried so deep that Carrie didn’t realize that she was carrying it. Every time she attempted to reach out and have her own opinion or expressed desire, she felt guilt. To Carrie to be successful in her own right was ‘against the law.’ Once Carrie realized what was going on and with the help of therapy she began to take action on realizing her dreams. Understanding your core beliefs and where and how they originated can help set you free.