“I can’t seem to get his real attention. He’s always focusing on something else….busy, busy, busy….his job, projects, the television. He’s just distracted. I feel like we don’t connect any more. How can I get him to slow down and connect with me?”
This unfortunate situation between couples is all too common. In fact, it’s a sign of the times. With the increase of technical advantages we humans have increased our greed for accomplishment and expectation of instant gratification. Something that makes us slow down or do any emotional work becomes more and more difficult. In short, we are a community of “speeders” running from one activity to the next. No wonder we sometimes feel alone, alienated, or isolated even when surrounded by those we love. No wonder we are a community of drinkers and other addictive substances and activities. We are trying to medicate ourselves from feeling the isolation.
So, here’s the answer: sit down and have a talk with yourself. A real talk. Admit to what is missing and to what you really want with your man. Then sit down with him (TV off) and have a real discussion about all this. Take a look at how you avoid each other and how you “speed” through your days. Make a real commitment to slow down. This would be a good time to commit to quiet times…alone and together. If you find the idea of quiet time or meditation to be too uncomfortable then consider what that says about you.
You can only connect with each other in a real way when you are quiet within…when you have slowed down so you can connect with your Self. Put out the effort it will bring you peace of mind and bring you together.
To learn more about relationships go to www.wendyhill.com and read and watch her videos on relationships.