Are you lucky in love? As a therapist here in Encinitas and San Diego once in a while I hear a story that warms my heart. Janice and her husband, Alec, have been married for twenty-two years and are still in love. She gave me a wonderful example of how lucky she is. But I would say that Alec is also the lucky one. Here’s one of Janice’s stories. One evening Janice did not show up for a ceremony in honor of Alec’s achievements at work. The event was very important to Alec and when Janice didn’t arrive he was deeply concerned. He knew that she wouldn’t skip such an important event unless there was a good reason. When he got home he found Janice watching television and eating popcorn. When she looked up and said, “Hi, Honey, where have you been dressed up in your best suit?” Alex couldn’t believe it. They had just talked about the event that morning. Alec didn’t raise his voice or lose his temper. He didn’t even let Janice know that she had missed an important event in his life. He and Janice were so connected in their hearts that he simply sat down next to her, put his arm around her and asked how her day went. Alex trusted Janice so much that he immediately gave her the benefit of the doubt and instantly forgave her absence. As it turns out Janice had a “young senior moment” and had wrongly remembered the event taking place the next evening. Again instead of accusing Janice of forgetting for some “psychological” reason he accepted her explanation. He intuitively knew something was wrong but didn’t push it. Later they both learned that Janice had a small tumor in her brain which was later identified and was successfully removed. The love they shared had made them so connected that they completely trusted each other. How wonderful and how rare.
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