How do you get engaged to the right guy? Here is a San Diego and Encinitas therapist’s point of view. So, how do you marry the right man? That’s simple. Be yourself. Well, believe it or not that’s not so simple for a lot of women. Why? Because many women are people pleasers (some men are, too, in all fairness). When you are a people pleaser people initially really like you. And why not? If you’re doing everything others like then they’re happy campers. For a while anyway. Then most people realize that you’re not being yourself and lose respect. Oh, don’t get me wrong. They will still have you in their lives, but they won’t respect you. They may even use you since your self-esteem is so low as to be a people pleaser. In a marriage being a people pleaser can be an eventual deal breaker. If you don’t take responsibility for expressing your own needs then you yourself will have underlying resentment and disrespect for yourself. That always leads to problems. By the way, don’t mix up people pleasing with kindness. They are two different things.
So, here’s the thing: if you are you, saying what you want, expressing your own creative way of being, you may turn off certain people. In truth, they are not your kind of people. By being yourself you attract the right kind of people and that means the right guy, too. So, have some courage and experiment with being yourself today. It will be a relief and you may even find the right guy for you.
To learn more about how to find your happiness go to www.wendyhill.com.