Who you are as a leader is a reflection of your core beliefs. Your core beliefs are those attitudes and beliefs you subconsciously embrace regarding who you are, who others are, what the world is, and how to survive. Core beliefs will have to do with how worthy of believing you are, how lovable you believe you are, and how safe you believe you are. In understanding the power of your core beliefs it helps to see yourself as having three separate but emerging selves: you great loving wise self (your highest self). your adult self (that’s you in the present in your calm state), and your child self (that’s you in the past still present within.) Each of your selves has its own perspective and way of seeing things. For example, your adult self may regard yourself as a good leader with some flaws but on the whole adequate. Your child self may at the same time regard its self as unworthy of any one’s respect. And you great loving wise self may see you as worthy and loved beyond words. Each self has its own power depending on what is being triggered. Stress can trigger your child self to react. Calm and deep reflection can trigger your great loving wise self to wonderful insights.
Now here’s the thing: If your child self is hanging on to negative beliefs about yourself that are linked to stressful experiences in childhood your adult self can be triggered into feeling and reacting like your child self. It’s only through understanding and transforming your child self-stressful experiences that you can be free to act from your great loving wise self in your adult present world. As a leader, if your child self is still easily triggered then your leadership skills are clearly diminished.
So here’s what to do about that: Find a talented executive coach that has an understanding of core beliefs and how to help you identify and transform negative core beliefs into helpful core beliefs.
Here is how Karen P., a client of mine, honed and upgraded her leadership skills. Karen had a problem with frustration when her instructions were not followed in time or in ways she instructed. She would get a tone in her voice and she would communicate in ways that would alienate her employees. She knew this about herself and wanted to change. We worked together over a period of weeks with the experiences in her childhood that set up this pattern of frustration and self-defeating communication. By the time Karen emerged from this work she was not only communicating in a way that made her employees want to listen to her but Karen had grown a compassion and understanding for her employees that enabled her to actually really enjoy the process of leadership. She was relaxed and open. Her employees felt it and responded.
Consider taking a look at your core beliefs with the help of someone like myself, Dr. Wendy Hill. I specialize in executive coaching and transforming negative core beliefs into core beliefs that make great leaders.