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Goal Setting Nine: The Non-Negotiable Agreement

In a recent workshop I conducted a participant later told me that for him that what he learned about the non-negotiable agreement was of such value that it literally changed his life. He said that every time he set a goal in the past he would somehow “flake out” before it got under way. You can imagine what his life must have been like, never completing things, never allowing himself to feel the victory of and the tangible results of achieving something. When he learned about the non-negotiable agreement it was for him like a magic wand. It was a key to reaching his goals. The non-negotiable agreement is an agreement that you make with yourself that you will do something without arguing with yourself, giving excuses, or trying to negotiate out of doing it. It is such a firm commitment that it makes doing whatever you decide needs to be done a piece of cake…at least almost a piece of cake. It takes away that old agonizing inner conflict over doing something you find  laborious or uncomfortable. Suddenly you have the emotional and mental freedom to do it. So you do it without that inner argument. It makes things so much easier. In that way it is a magic wand! The non-negotiable agreement.

Wendy Hill, M.A., Ph.D. candidate (2013) has been in private practice in psychotherapy and hypnotherapy in San Diego and Encinitas for over thirty years. As a therapist and counselor Wendy specializes in transforming self-defeating core beliefs. Her therapy includes using hypnosis and counseling to treat anxiety, depression, addiction, childhood abuse, sexual abuse, relationships, self-confidence, and life challenges. Her website is


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