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How To Tell A Friend You’re Upset With Them

Most people avoid confrontation and as a result often create a more destructive circumstance. When it comes to telling someone you care about that you are upset with them it is best to be direct. This doesn’t mean to jump down their throat or lose your temper or be verbally abusive. It does mean you tell them what’s bothering you in the most kind way possible.  So first sit yourself down and think it through. Ideally you want your conversation with them to be productive and to bring about a positive change in the relationship. So ask yourself what you want of them. How do you want them to treat you? What do you want them to do? What changes do you want them to make in their behavior? Now have a mock dialogue with them. Practice what you have to day and listen to what you think their response will be. If you don’t like their response and it doesn’t seem to have a productive result then reinvent what you say. Start with stating how you value your relationship with them. Then tell them the problem as you see it. Then ask them if they are willing to do what you ask. Be willing to negotiate. Listen to their side. Work it out. This approach is much better than withdrawing, gossiping, complaining, or being abusive…wouldn’t you say?


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