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Depression Twelve: Being Too Nice Dana’s Story

Sometimes depression can be the result of being a “nice” person. Dana considered herself to be nice, making sure that nobody’s feelings were hurt. Everybody liked Dana. She never challenged anyone and backed off of any confrontation. Dana had no demands of her own on anyone. No wonder Dana was so popular. Dana’s popularity convinced her that she was doing the right thing for herself and for others. Unfortunately, Dana had chronic depression. She had learned to live with it until she learned that her new husband had molested her daughter.  Dana’s depression and anxiety hit a new level of intensity. Dana was so accustomed to denying her own needs and feelings that she was totally out of her element. Afraid of confrontation but inwardly outraged Dana was close to being hospitalized. She knew that in order to protect her daughter and to do the right thing she had to face this seemingly overwhelming life challenge. Dana had to learn to take a stand, set boundaries, and confront difficulties. Dana’s commitment to being nice had made her and her daughter a victim. If you are a “nice” person and suffer from even mild depression you might consider being more true to yourself. Your depression might lift and you might avoid some devastating life challenges.

Wendy Hill, M.A., Ph.D. candidate (2013) has been in private practice in psychotherapy and hypnotherapy in San Diego and Encinitas for over thirty years. As a therapist and counselor Wendy specializes in transforming self-defeating core beliefs. Her therapy includes using hypnosis and counseling to treat anxiety, depression, addiction, childhood abuse, sexual abuse, relationships, self-confidence, and life challenges. Her website is

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