What you think you know about yourself may not be true. You may only know what you want to know or what some aspect of yourself knows. We humans are complicated creatures and also deep. We cannot know ourselves fully until we have done some serious soul searching and connected with our true selves. Our true selves are always connected to our highest selves. Consider this story about Jack. Perhaps you can relate.
Jack insisted that he liked himself, that his self-esteem was entirely intact, and that his quick temper had nothing to do with anything of consequence. He considered his temper to be a minor flaw that didn’t need changing. He wanted me to give him some tips on how he could better control other people so they wouldn’t make him so angry.
I suggested to Jack that perhaps his anger might have something to do with his problem with getting along with people. He agreed to consider this possibility. Soon he made the important connection between his original programming and his quick temper. It was a revelation for Jack. He could view himself and others in a completely different light. Because of his willingness to examine his beliefs, Jack made some wonderful changes. He realized that he was really angry about something in his past, not at the people in his current life. This allowed him to completely change how he viewed people. His new perceptions allowed him to change how he responded. Jack learned how to communicate and respond in ways that allowed everyone to win. He became easy to work with, his productivity increased, and most important of all, Jack felt an inner calm that was truly a blessing for him. Through self-examination Jack realized that he carried conflicting beliefs about himself—a childhood belief and an adult belief that were in opposition.
Wendy Hill, MA, PhD (2013) is a San Diego hypnotherapist, counselor, and life coach. www.wendyhill.com