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The Candle Light Ritual for Couples

This candlelight ritual is for couples who wish to have a greater sense of communion with each other through spirit. This ritual can help build a stronger bond of love, understanding, and respect. Many of my clients include this as a daily or weekly ritual. It opens the door to more clear loving communication. It can be the family “love glue.”

If your relationship is strained or stressed to a great degree, or if you have been disrespectful to one another, you might find it difficult to do this ritual. If so, consider some counseling first. This ritual will help reinforce an already respectful relationship. However, sometimes relationships that have broken down need some professional intervention.

You might consider trying this every day or every other day for a week. It doesn’t require much time and is easy to do. After you have tried it, look for the results. You might decide to keep it as a part of your life together as a couple.

Rituals are important in our lives. They give us a sense of order, unity, and connectedness. They help us feel safe. Rituals always connote a deeper unspoken meaning than the mere acts of the ritual itself. Simple rituals like this one can bring about amazing positive life changes.

The lighting of the candle can symbolize the light of spirit, the love each has within, the everlasting quality of immortal love, and your sincere desire to know truth. When you light the candle you can feel the symbolism of the act. It can have great meaning for you.

TIME REQUIRED: 15 minutes

EXPECTED RESULTS: Better communication, increased intimacy, and a strengthened bond between you.

  1. Agreements: Agree to a time of day that is convenient for both of you. Consider evening after all chores and business is completed. Put a reminder of your “candlelight date somewhere where you both can see it so you can look forward to it. You might be tired when your “date” time comes. Do not allow tiredness or other things to be an excuse to avoid doing this. Just do it. Once you begin you will enjoy it.
  2. Things to get: (1) A candle that is specially meant for this ritual alone. (2) A timer like an egg timer.
  3. Where to sit: Find a quiet place where both of you can feel relaxed and comfortable… and uninterrupted. Place the candle between you. Set the timer for 15 minutes. You can go over allotted time, but it is better if you do not go under.
  4. Light the candle: Make the lighting of the candle a special ritual. As the candle is lit, both of you ask silently or out loud for love and guidance.
  5. Silence: For a moment both of you sit in silence. This part is very important as both of you need to let go of whatever has been on your mind and relax. You need to open your minds and hearts. Allow yourselves to center into your togetherness. Begin to tune into your love for each other.
  6. Sharing with each other: share only what feels good — positive things. Complaints and problem solving should be done at a different time and in a different way. This ritual is to reinforce and remind you of your love for each other through spirit. If you are a religious couple or if you have a deep sense of spiritual love in your hearts you may wish to pray at this time. If you feel stuck for words don’t worry about it. You do not have to talk much if you don’t want to. You can just sit, hold hands, look at each other… just be together. This is simple, but powerful.
  7. Close: Complete the ritual by giving thanks and blowing out the candle.


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