Did You Have A Narcissistic Mother?

Dear One in your desire to liberate yourself you have discovered that your mother may have been abusive to you when you were a child. Even the thought of criticizing your mother frightens you and makes you feel so guilty you can barely talk about it. And yet when you tell me about your mother and the things she did and said to you it’s clear that your mother was probably narcissistic to a high degree. I suggested that you take the “narcissistic mom survey” that asked questions like, “Did you ever question whether your mother loved you?” and “Did you feel you had to please your mother to get her approval?” and “Did you feel that you were never good enough in her eyes?” and “Did it seem that your mother’s feelings were always more important than your own?” You answered “Yes” to an alarming number of the questions. You were given the option to see that you are no longer trapped in a family with your mother and that it’s safe to begin to let go of the guilt and fear and to love yourself. In tears you said, “My mother would not like it if I loved myself! I’m afraid of my mother and she’s frickin’ dead!” Dear One it will dawn on you very soon that you are indeed safe to feel worthy and loved. Yes, there is a bit of a ways to go in becoming liberated fully but you are well on your way. Sometimes admitting to childhood abuse is the hardest part. But here’s the reality: you are no longer a helpless child. You are an adult who can see things as they really were and not through the fearful, guilty eyes of an abused child. You are worthy.