Love is a good thing to have in your life. Here is a San Diego and Encinitas therapist’s advice on how to get love back into your life if you have lost a love. Are you recovering from a heartbreak? Have you lost a love through divorce, death, break up, or disillusionment? Please don’t be discouraged. Loss of love is in some ways parallel to a surgeon’s knife. The surgeon’s knife cuts out a cancer damaging healthy tissue while at the same time opening the door to better health. When love is lost it cuts into well-being but opens the door to a greater experience of love and life. The sacrifice of one thing can open the door to another perhaps even better thing. Though your loss has left a scar, it is also a part of your honing to a greater love. How can this be so? How can you find your way back into love? You must first grieve your loss.
Some people become bitter, despairing, or simply resigned when they experience a loss of love. They do so because it seems easier to give up than to face the loss and feel their grief. To find a new love you must first grieve your loss. Grieving is nature’s way of clearing the way. It is nature’s way of cleansing. Feel your emotions. Move into them and allow them to pass through you. In the privacy of your own heart and room allow yourself to express your emotions. The deeper you feel, the more you express, the greater the healing. Trust that you will not get stuck in your grief. Like a river your emotions will cleanse you and wash through you opening the way for your love and life to begin again.
A word of caution, however. A loss can trigger unresolved past losses you may still carry in your subconscious mind. It can trigger self defeating or negative core beliefs about yourself, love, or relationship. The emotions you feel may not be just from your recent loss, but from losses experienced earlier in your life. You may find that you are experiencing more powerful emotions than your recent loss warrants. At this point consider getting some guidance from a professional to help you get through the toughest times. Doing so can be a God-send. You may find you end up healing not just your recent loss but losses that you have been subconsciously carrying for many years. Your cleansing may be so deep that you are inspired in new and wonderful ways.
Another word of caution. If you find you are unable to feel you emotions then consider that this may be a pattern you have that you might wish to change. Blocking your emotions will prevent you from loving in a healthy way. Pushing them deep inside yourself can be dangerous to not only your love life, but to your health. Denied emotions can build and ferment within you. They do not just go away. They remain in your subconscious mind. Since nature wants you to cleanse yourself of pain, those unexpressed emotions keep wanting to be expressed. They keep rising up in order to be felt consciously. It can become an automatic response to repress them again and again. This unconscious process can become a pattern and cause other emotional problems, negative behavior patterns, and addiction. If you feel stuck in your inability to feel your feelings, seek professional guidance. A seasoned professional can help you break down the wall of emotional silence.
Once you have passed through the grieving process you can walk into the light of a new life and new love. You can feel refreshed and ready to give and receive love again. The old wounds and the scars will serve to give you wisdom and clarity in your new life. This is the wonderful gift that nature gives you when you have the courage to walk through your personal storm: wisdom and clarity. Your grieving can be a spiritual process that will lead you to a deeper experience of yourself.
You have heard the saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.” A loving heart can love again. A wounded heart need not become bitter, despairing, or resigned. A wounded heart can be a seasoned heart that knows more of the realities of life and love. You will never be the same. But you will have to opportunity to become a better person. You can see your past mistakes and learn from them. You can take all the love you gave in the past and build on it.
You will find love again. But first have the courage to grieve your loss. Trust in the natural process of grieving. It will lead you to love, wisdom, and clarity.
To learn more about how hypnosis can help with your love life go to www.sandiego-hypnotherapist.com.