“My husband/wife/partner will not go to therapy and I know that he/she really needs it. If they don’t go I don’t know what to do. Help?” Hi, I’m Dr. Wendy and I have heard this desperate call many times over the years. People can feel trapped in a relationship that is entirely unhealthy for them and causes great unhappiness. Because they feel they cannot leave they end up giving up their own sense of self.
There may not be a direct way of getting your significant other to go to therapy but there is perhaps an indirect way. Here is an interesting fact: in a relationship where there is conflict even if only one of you seeks therapy, the relationship can change for the better. Often the person going to therapy is the one who will benefit most from because they are the most conscious of the problem and the most ready to change their attitudes and behaviors. The positive changes that come from the therapy can often encourage the other to go him or herself. There is sometimes a catch, however. If the person who initially seeks therapy and is really sincere and sticks with it, they may re-evaluate their feelings about staying in the relationship. Either way, it’s all for learning.
Want to learn more about how to create positive and loving relationships? Go to www.wendyhill.com.