Call or text: 760-994-9296 Make an appointment

Divorce Advice – Heal and Move On

Divorce Advice – Heal and Move On 1Divorce is rarely pleasant. Most experience divorce as a difficult, even agonizing, time in their lives. Divorce can be emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically stressful. It is a time that many simply “power through” and try to move on without looking back. Some seek to get into another relationship immediately. Many fear being alone, sexual abstinence, or experiencing the social taboo of not being a “couple”.  Most just want to bury the whole experience and get on with life.

Letting your fears have too much power over you and attempting to avoid the discomfort of divorce may be a big mistake. In fact, your divorce experience may be one of the biggest opportunities for your future happiness that you will have offered you in your lifetime. Why? Because when you take the time to pay attention to certain things your divorce experience offers you, you guarantee a future with greater peace of mind and health. Divorce is your opportunity to become a better person. It doesn’t matter whether you are happy or unhappy about your divorce. It doesn’t matter if you see yourself as the “victim” or if you think you are just doing he right thing. It doesn’t matter if you are bitter, angry, sad, afraid, relieved, or resigned. Your divorce is your golden opportunity for a richer more joyful life in the future.

So, what are the things you need to pay attention to? First, take it slow with your emotions. Don’t try to rush your feelings just for the sake of not feeling pain. Your pain is your friend. It tells you what needs healing. It tells you about your core beliefs about yourself, love, and relationships. Denied upsetting feelings don’t go away. They just hide inside you. Unrecognized and denied emotions lie in waiting for the next distressing life experience to trigger them. It’s better if you acknowledge them, feel them, and allow them to tell you how to change your attitudes about yourself and life. A qualified counselor can help you negotiate through your upsetting feelings.

Second, seek the answers to the following questions:

How did I contribute to the problems in my relationship? Did I allow certain things to persist or did I overtly initiate relationship-defeating behaviors? In every relationship both people contribute to the problems in the relationship.

What self-defeating attitudes do I carry about myself, love, and relationships that I brought into my marriage? By understanding how your attitudes contributed to the problems in the marriage you can change them. Everyone has core beliefs about themselves that are buried in the subconscious mind and effect every action and decision you make. Uncovering and understanding your core beliefs can set them free to mature and grow. Hypnotherapy can be very helpful in this process.

What boundaries do I want to set for how I communicate and behave from this moment on? Much of your self-esteem is determined by how you behave. If you have been behaving badly now is the time to change that.

Although divorce can be an upsetting experience it offers you many opportunities to make yourself a better person and insure a happier future. There are certain things that are important for your to pay attention to and to take responsibility for. Listening to your emotions and asking yourself the right questions can help smooth the way to better health and peace of mind. For more information and to learn about counseling and hypnotherapy go to or

Leave a Comment