How you communicate molds your relationships. Healthy productive communication is difficult. So difficult that most people don’t have a clue as to how to communicate with even those closest to them. Most communicate in ways that actually undermine their ability to fill their needs, experience love and connection, and create positive outcomes. So here is a rule of thumb as to how to communicate: always communicate as though you are talking to yourself with the most loving and helpful attitude and words possible. Here is an exercise that may help you learn how to do that. When you have a communication glitch or problem with someone pick a time when you are by yourself (walking, on the treadmill, in the shower, etc.) Speak out loud as though you are talking to that person and say what it is that you want, what is bothering you, or what you think. Then imagine that you are that person responding to what you just said. If you sense that person is not responding in a helpful or positive way then go back and speak out loud to them again, and again, and again until that person responds in a way that is a win-win for you both. That’s the rule. It must be a win for both of you. Not just them. Not just you. For you both. This exercise will automatically hone your communication skills.
To learn more about win-win communication skills consider taking a win-win communication class or workshop. Check it out on this website.