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Negotiate With Your Child

Healthy boundaries are imperative for good parenting. Too strict is not good. Too unstructured is not good. As your child grows and is able to do things more independently the boundaries you set will need to change. A part of setting healthy boundaries is healthy consequences when the boundaries are crossed. A very powerful way to set consequences and to teach your child to take responsibility for his or her actions is though negotiating the consequences with your child. As you set a boundary sit down with your child and discuss it calmly and logically. Then ask your child what he or she thinks a healthy consequence or “discipline” would be if he or she didn’t obey the boundary. You may be surprised to learn that your child may offer consequences more severe than your own. Whatever his or her response, negotiate the agreement. When you do this you will find that your child feels like he or she is participating in his or her own upbringing in a positive way and will be more willing to take responsibility. Then they will be so much more willing to take the consequence if and when the occasion arises. Learn the power of win-win communication with your child and everybody will win when it comes to boundaries and consequences.


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