Narcissistic Mother: Narcissism Passed On To You Nita’s Story

Nita came to me desperate to understand how to resolve the problems in her relationship with her husband, her clients, and friends. It seemed she put everyone off, making more enemies than friends and alienating her husband. Nita was angry. Her very facial expression was that of disapproval and dissatisfaction. When she attended a personal growth workshop I hosted she was told by the other participants that they were afraid of her. They said that they felt she would not accept her if they were open. Nita was stunned by this. She in her desire to understand what had happened to her began to deeply examine her childhood. She wanted to know what had set her up to be so angry. Soon she began to see that her own mother was an angry, critical, demanding, martyr. In short Nita had a narcissistic mother who ran Nita’s life without compassion, love, or support. Nita never knew what it was like to be seen and appreciate for who she was. Everything was about Mother. What Mother wanted, felt, feared, liked, disliked, or needed. When Mother didn’t get what she wanted she would be critical and angry toward Nita. Consequently Nita herself became bitter and took on many of her mother’s characteristics. As a child of a narcissist Nita was prone to narcissism herself. Fortunately for Nita she was desperate enough and humble enough to begin to heal the past and make a new present for herself. Nita changed her narcissistic ways to being a more compassionate and loving woman.