Do you tend to tell people what you think they want to hear? Do you say you will call someone when you have no intention of calling? Do you give compliments you don’t really mean? Do you make promises that seem to be true in the moment but fall apart later? If you do any [...] Read more »

Most of us know that to accomplish anything requires effort and sometimes some discomfort. That’s not the problem. The problem may be a desire to escape the effort and discomfort and indulge the self with instant gratification, denial, and other escapes. Happy and successful people are self disciplined and indulge themselves on occasion. Ice cream [...] Read more »

Sometimes in life we have to settle. We can’t expect perfection in all things. But there is one area of life that if at all possible you shouldn’t settle. That’s in what you do every day, your job. You have heard the saying “follow your passion.” By doing what you love you guarantee that you [...] Read more »

When you give up on doing something worthwhile you completely delete the possibility of something good happening in your life. Giving up can be an old habit you learned in childhood when you were helpless and vulnerable. If this is true in your case then do a reality check. Are you still helpless? Are you [...] Read more »

When you complain you automatically place yourself in a position of lack, of being a victim. That’s a negative energy that invites more of the same. Complaining takes you down. Like self pity complaining is self perpetuating and can even become addictive. It can be a really bad habit. You might think that something feels [...] Read more »

You’ve heard, “Be in the now.” There is something to it. Let’s explore this idea. If you observe your thoughts for a few minutes you may see that your thoughts focus on things past or things future. Things that happened and things that might happen. I believe that it’s necessary to have some of this [...] Read more »

Worry is talking an attempt to resolve a problem to a destructive level. “If I worry about it that will help me keep an eye on the problem and maybe it will go away.” Or “If I worry about the possibility of something bad happening then I can prevent it from happening by constantly thinking [...] Read more »

“I want it now” usually mean that you will get not only something less than what you really want/need but often something that is harmful to you. Here’s an example: you’re hungry and unwilling to go through the trouble of fixing yourself a healthy meal so you stop at fast food and eat something low [...] Read more »

As a therapist I ask my clients to never say, “I don’t know.” Instead I ask that they take a moment, go within themselves, and seek out the answer. If they can’t come up with an answer then I ask them to guess. Even guessing opens the door to understanding. You can know most thing [...] Read more »

Addiction is a way of avoiding your conflicting emotions. By indulging in something that offers temporary comfort and distraction you can delay feeling what you don’t want to feel. Even though what you are addicted to promises comfort it also promises a moment in time when the comfort leaves and then you are stuck with [...] Read more »